Sunday, January 18, 2004

THANKS FOR NOTHING, LOSERS!!!

For the third consecutive year, the Philadelphia Eagles went to the NFC Championship game...

For the third consecutive year, the Philadelphia Eagles LOST the NFC Championship game...

For the second consecutive year, the Philadelphia Eagles LOST THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME AT HOME...

Anybody see a pattern here?

Anybody see a correlation to the fact that Andy Reid suddenly becomes a lowsy coach when the really big game comes around the corner?

Anybody see a correlation to the fact that since 1983 no Philadelphia-based major league sports franchise has been able to allow a parade down Broad Street that doesn't involve a bunch of drunken morons from South Philly and South Jersey dressing like idiots on New Year's Day?

And is there any coincidence that this ongoing ineptitude among the Eagles, Flyers, Phillies, and Sixers may be a contributing factor to why Philadelphia and it's surrounding region is mired in an ongoing cycle of mediocrity?

Look back at the last 21 years - the last time any of the four "major league" sports franchises won a championship (the 76ers) - and you can understand the frustration, anger, and all out hosility that Philadelphia sports fans have to endure year after miserable year. Hell, just look at the past 10 years, and you'll get the picture:

  • Joe Carter in Game 6 going yard on Mitch Williams

  • Terry Murray declaring that the Flyers were in a "choking situation" during the 1997 Stanley Cup Finals

  • The John Lucas/Johnny Davis "error" before a punk from Virginia named Allen Iverson became one of this city's most beloved sports figures (not as much for his off-the-court behavior, but because even if he's shooting 8-for-24 from the field, you know he's at least giving some effort)

  • The Terry Francona "error", one of the darkest moments in the past 20 years of the Phillies franchise

  • Rich Kotite's 1994 embarassment, when the Eagles started off like gangbusters and suddenly - during the course of the season - forgot how to win and quickly missed the playoffs

  • Ray Rhodes complete inability to sustain any kind of success after a dramatic 1995 playoff run, which ended in Dallas on the day one of the worst blizzards hit Philadelphia

  • Destiny's Child performing during Game 3 of the 2001 NBA Finals while wearing Laker colors AT THE FIRST F***ING UNION CENTER no less (and rightfully getting booed out of South Philly after their performance)

  • The inability of the Phillies to beat the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates and Cincinnati Reds in September of last season

  • And last, but by no means the least, the inability of the Philadelphia F***ING Eagles to win the NFC Championship game for the THIRD CONSECUTIVE YEAR


Meanwhile, lesser "four-sport" cities such as Boston, Phoenix, Miami, and Arizona have been able to hold championship parades. But, nope, not Philadelphia. That would be asking to much from Jeffrey Lurie (at least when he's not extorting the taxpayers to the tune of $300+ million).

And let's not just focus on the fact that our sports teams constantly choke when an entire city and region is counting on them...

Let's remember that the mayor of the city of Philadelphia - "Emperor John F-U Street" - was re-elected despite the fact that his administration is currently being investigated by the federal government over allegations of corruption - and the fact that the people of Philadelphia were stupid enough to re-elect him.

Let's also remember that while the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania was without a budget for Fiscal Year 2004 until December, the dis-honorable Governor of this state, Edward G. Rendell, was more concerned about expressing his opinions about the Eagles latest choke job on Comcast SportsNet than he was about getting anything accomplished in Harrisburg.

What does this have to do with SEPTA, you ask?

Well...

  • SEPTA operates a commuter rail system that is not only one of the most unreliable systems in the nation, it is also the laughing stock of the entire industry
  • SEPTA management seems to think that it's okay not to install restrooms on Regional Rail cars for it's longer distance lines (such as the Paoli, West Trenton, Doylestown, and Trenton lines) - despite the fact that it's common practice on EVERY OTHER COMMUTER RAILROAD SYSTEM IN THE UNITED STATES
  • SEPTA management seems to think that it's a brilliant idea to dead-head buses from South Philadelphia to Overbrook, Mill Creek, Parkside, Tioga, and Strawberry Mansion instead of trying to assign bus routes to depots closer to origin and terminal points
  • SEPTA management seems to think that it's a great idea to reduce the presence of "cleaners" at Bridge-Pratt and 69 St Terminals so that people can become unconsious and not be noticed for nearly 6 hours (as was reportedly the case last month)
  • SEPTA management seems to think that the best way to restore rail service from Philadelphia to Phoenixville, Pottstown, and Reading is to operate glorified trolleys on separated tracks instead of conventional commuter rail trains along the Norfolk Southern right-of-way
  • SEPTA management seems to think that Route 104 express bus service to West Chester can operate at the same running times as - or even faster than - locals to Newtown Square
  • SEPTA management seems to think that the opinions of the public are irrelevant, and that they are going to damn sure do whatever the hell they want, despite the consequences

    And last but by no means least...

  • SEPTA seems to think that the only solution to it's ongoing budget crisis is to act like a low-life panhandler at Suburban Station (and there were quite a few out in full force today, no thanks to the lack of police presence) and beg Harrisburg for more money.


And you wonder why I am slowly starting to get sick and tired of this city?

And you wonder why I am getting sick of the nation's 5th largest transit system not having their s**t together? Would it be too much for the SEPTA Board of Directors to stop acting like a rubber stamp to Fearless Leader and the Rotating Resumes at 1234 Market and issue an ultimatum?

If I were in Pasquale T. Deon, Sr.'s shoes (not that I would want to be, since he is probably the biggest a**hole of any elected or appointed offical in this area), I would issue this simple ultimatum to Faye L.M. Moore and the rest of her underlings at 1234 Market:

SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT!

It has become glaringly obvious not only to myself but to others who keep close tabs on SEPTA that it was a big mistake to hire an accountant with no transit management experience to run this system. Perhaps the political hacks who mis-manage this system will wake up to the reality that hiring Moore to run this system was a huge mistake.

Of course, by the time that happens, the Eagles might actually win a Super Bowl. Yeah, right, like that'll ever happen...

Tomorrow, we'll get back to the business of posting transit-related news ... assuming that I'm in a good enough mood to do so...

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